24 Feb Making Empowering Choices
This is an excerpt of an interview with Fran Fisher, MCC, by David E Wright, President of Insight Publishing.
In my previous blog post I talked about the high cost of not living in alignment with your essential self. I wrapped up with this good news:
When we make choices in alignment with our essential nature, life purpose, life vision, guiding principles, and values, we can create a state of harmony, grace, and balance. In that state, we can heal, and grow stronger, more vital, and alive.
The interview continues:
David Wright: What does it take to put this practice into action, Fran?
Fran Fisher: There is a choice zone between you and the circumstances in your life. One of my favorite quotes is by Epictetus (55 AD): “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”
What I mean by circumstances
The baby is crying…Traffic is gridlocked…I am late for an appointment…My mother is very ill…The car broke down on the freeway…My co-worker is absent today…My hair is turning gray…My husband snores…My wallet was stolen…My computer hard drive crashed…Gasoline is so expensive…The neightor’s dog barked all night…I am single and lonely… I absolutely hate my job…My husband leaves the toilet seat up…My wife has a headache…I missed my flight connection…The wrong person was elected…
Got the idea?
Shifting your point of view or attitude or finding an empowering view can bring you a sense of peace and freedom from the pain and stress of the circumstances you find yourself in. Empowering choices you make in relationship to the circumstances can support you in being clear, confident, powerful, calm, peaceful, creative, energized, free, satisfied, and fulfilled.
Your core values and beliefs are inherent within your essence. You may have other values and beliefs that are personality-oriented or behavior-based. These are learned or acquired through fear—coping with or reacting to the consequences in life. You can recognize the distinction by noticing which values connect with your essence and which ones do not.
Empowering choices reconnect you to your essence. Disempowering choices disconnect you from your essence. Your empowered choices may take courage, faith, time, and patience, but they will transform the quality of your life.
The circumstances may not change immediately or ever. The reality is that we have little or no control over most of the circumstances in life. For example, the weather, the changing seasons, traffic, hair turning gray, mother dying, or world hunger. Other circumstances might be the result of choices we have made in the past or even in the present moment. For example, late for an appointment, I made a mistake, someone is upset with me, I am sick because I have not been taking care of my personal well-being for a long time.
Examples of making empowering choices that honor my values
- Instead of resenting the weather, I choose to look for ways to make it a great day. Values: gratitude, appreciation, positive attitude.
- Instead of complaining about my team’s results, I choose to be part of the solution. Values: partnership, contribution, responsibility.
Regardless of the circumstances, you have a choice about who you are being about it. And those choices make the difference between more negativity, upset, and frustration or more inner peace, joy, harmony, and ease.